So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Randomize
