i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
