Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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