She's JV to your varsity
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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