ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
