Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
