I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
