Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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