party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
