Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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