at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
