im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
