It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
