Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize