You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
