Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
