Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
