yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
