I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
