She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
