His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize