My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
