why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
