Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
