Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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