Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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