just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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