his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
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