Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
