Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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