I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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