i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
