i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
