you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
