My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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