I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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