I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
