i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
ttyl tear gas
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
