True but thats because hes a fetus.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
