Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
