don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
The feeling are messing with the penis
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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