I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
