Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
