I hate all girls vehemently.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
