Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
