It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
