4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Soap is not a condiment
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
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