Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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