Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
