I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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