Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You made out with two different species that night
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
