It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
