just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
