Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
