Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
