what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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