Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
