i don't like sucking hair
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Dick very happy bro
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
