just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
