dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
The best revenge is premature balding
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
