GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Of course I have a pirate flag
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
