Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
