God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize