Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
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