are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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