All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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