Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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