So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
